A New Years weight loss resolution is even more popular than you think! A statistical outline published by Details Magazine shows that 66% of those making resolutions on New Years aspire for fitness goals in the coming year. Unfortunately, 73% of those people give up before reaching their goals.

When it comes to fitness, the punishment-approach is unfortunately accepted as the norm. We ban sugar, we vow to eat low carb. Like toys to a child, we take away things we like as a sort of punishment for our previous indiscretions (extra pounds). Eventually, the method fails, the resolution is dropped.
As someone who’s tried this approach time and time again, my theory is now this: deep down you know you don’t deserve to be punished, you don’t even enjoy punishment. Eventually you remember that life is short, too short to feel deprived and unhappy in. It’s not so simple as to say you gave up simply for lack of will power; I like to think that somewhere in the back of your mind, you know you deserve happiness over self-inflicted punishment. (I hope you’re seeing this cycle evident in other parts of your life too…)

So rather than make your new year’s resolution for weight loss about removing things from your diet or cruelly inflicting your body and mind with rigid rules your bound to break, why not pay more attention to what you’re doing rather than less? Why not put more on your metaphorical plate, while maybe still putting less on your physical plate, in order to make eating a more rich, rewarding experience.
In other words, rather than resolving to Eat Less…why not just Eat Better?Trust me, you’ll like this much better than your sugarless oats and protein shake lunch routine. Here’s the fundamentals:

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There is an age-old saying that is very close to being accurate, yet unforgivably disconnected from the truth of the matter:

You Are What You Eat.

In an extremely literal sense, one could stretch the meaning to barely tickle the edge of fact. If you eat a lot of fat, you will likely become fat. On the other hand, eating a lot of sugar does not make Pam in accounting very sweet…

In truth, it’s not just what you eat that makes up what you are, but how you eat it.

I’m always inspired by cooking shows, especially ones that are competitively based like Top Chef, because though the cooks are faced with major challenges in cooking, they always express their respect and love of individual ingredients. They honor each in color, in flavor, in capacity. They make unexpected combinations, showing the versatility of the ingredient like an actor on stage. They present it beautifully, like a work of art. It leaves me hungry and full of wonder for the capabilities of this most essential act: eating.

A full eating experience includes not just what you eat, but how you go about it. Consuming copious amounts of fruits and vegetables is a beautiful thing, but not if done so with too much discipline (IE punishment).
A plate full of vegetables can be just as guilt-inducing as a plate full of pasta; if we’re eating it with the belief that we are ‘bad’ and ‘need to be punished/disciplined for our actions’, then neither the vegetable nor the pasta will be rewarding. Conversely, in being aware of what we are eating, why we are eating it – which is also one of the Five Life Changing Questions I shared on Huffington Post recently – we can clue in to that food and our every action’s potential to either give us peace or give us unhappiness.

For Example:

The woman who is constantly on the go, eating fast food behind the wheel on the way to her son’s soccer practice before picking up her daughter at piano before cooking dinner for a hungry family. Sleeping 4 hours a night and in a constant state of rush. Eating is done in motion, without much thought or care, as everything is simply a means to an end. Eating, and maybe even living, with presence and awareness is not a priority.

The executive who eats at his desk or over business meetings. He’s not much aware of how the food tastes or feels or how it’s prepared. He’s lives to work, and so eats to live to work. He is distracted when he’s not at work, half-present to the moment and those around him.

The girl who treats food like an emotional reward for the wrong-doings of the world. I’m guilty of at least fantasizing about this once a day. She rewards herself with fries and pizza; food is her best friend and she seeks it when things go wrong. She turns to food when the world lets her down. Comfort is taken in the warmth of the food for her emotional heart rather than her physical heart. Three boxes of cake batter later and, shockingly, I didn’t feel any better.

It’s not just what we eat, but how we eat it. Our relationship to food and the mindset we’re in when we consume it directly corresponds with how we treat all of life. Moreover, how we care for our physical lives is just as important as how we emotionally care for it, not just in reward (end) but in preparation (beginning). Not just in result, but in intention. Food can be a beautiful thing, a very spiritual practice of taking stock in what the universe has offered us. Of being excited and aware of the flavors, of the colors, of the textures. Of being surprised by the ways it can be prepared, paired together. And in gratitude of the earth for offering so many wonderful ingredients to play with every day.

Try these tips to accomplishing your New Years Weight Loss Resolution:

• Pre-plan not just what you eat, but where and when
  Take time to get outside, meet a friend, sit in silence. Make eating a grand gesture.
• Choose Balance of Banishing
  Don’t try to banish certain foods or vices altogether. Put them into perspective, and keep control of portions.
• Pay Attention
  What colors are present? What smells come alive as you cook? What senses come into play when you prepare, eat, taste your food? If you’re not familiar with the practice of mindful eating, start by studying up: watching a cooking show (Top Chef is our favorite!) to prime you into the wonderful world of food.

Eventually, the practice of eating well to enjoy the food will translate into eating well to enjoy life, and be kind to your body. When food stops being only an emotional reward for when things go wrong, it can be an act of loving kindness to progress things toward going right. It can be a reward for good behavior – presence – instead of a discipline or punishment or gift for bad behavior of yourself or others.

Sometimes finding the way that works best for you means thinking outside the box. But as long as you remain true to enjoying what you eat and offering your body the gift of great food as well as the kindness of your heart, you’ll be on the right track.

Eat in peace, be at peace.

More Resources

The book French Women Don’t Get Fat is an inspiring look at not only why French women are so svelte, but how the French view food and eating. It also offers great daily practices for health, and wonderful recipes to bring out your French Chic.

I draw a lot of inspiration from the Instagram of Way of Gray. She’s a fantastic advocate for healthy living and loving your body, and her daily Instagram shots always remind me to be kind to my body. Plus, she has tons of super quick HIIT workouts anyone can get through.

Take a cooking class. Stores like Sur la Table and Williams Sonoma often offer free classes, and you can buy tools right while your there. It makes a great best friend date night, and will show you that in cooking, there’s nothing to be intimated by. It’s all about fun, feeling it out, and making it your own. You don’t have to be an expert chef to eat well, you just have to want to learn and experiment!

One last tip: don’t be overly influenced by the opinion of others. A girl’s-night-out can be a great time, and indulgence in some junk food is totally fine. But don’t let others pressure you into eating something unhealthy just to make them feel better. I’m often guilted for the small meals I eat at night out with friends or colleagues (often just a salad, or even raw veggies and dip), but when friends try to pursued me into indulging when I don’t want to, I just say “Hey, no one is forcing you to order mac-and-cheese!”. Just like misery loves company, bad behavior loves accomplices. Don’t let the action of others decide yours. It will be hard at first to resist, be later your friends will expect it from you, and might even encourage you to keep with it or be inspired to do the same.

Why is it that when we talk about ‘miracles’, we omit our own responsibility from the equation? It’s as if we think of miracles as not just unexpected, but without the slightest bit of help from us. But if we create our realities through our beliefs and decisions, can it be possible that miracles are out of our control? Is something only a miracle if it makes us happy?

A survey from the Pew Forum on Religion showed that nearly 80% of Americans, even Millennials who don’t consider themselves religious, believe in miracles. Since you know what I think about miracles (I am one!) it’s time we all took a second look at what miracles are, and how we can all be, and create, more of them…

What are miracles?

The definition of a miracle is: a welcome and surprising result not explicable by science.

By it’s very nature, a miracle has to be something that is both surprising but also welcomed. We have to be so slightly in want of it, yet not blatantly expectant of it. For example, a friend dropping by your house without warning; you might be surprised, but you welcome them into your space and your life. A visit wasn’t something you expected, but your happy with this outcome and allow it in. By definition, that is exactly what miracles require: we must be available to them first. We have to welcome them in.

Here is how we’ve been misusing miracles: if a miracle is only an outcome that is surprising and welcomed, miracles don’t necessarily have to be a positive outcome that benefits us. It means only that we welcomed the outcome, an outcome not explicable by science.

You and I both know from all the self-help books out there and every Super Soul Sunday episode on the planet that our story creates our belief system. We were dumped by a boyfriend, so we aren’t lovable. You were made fun as a kid, so you aren’t attractive. I failed a test, so I’m not smart enough. We use the past as evidence to create a story that we repeat to ourselves every single day. The story creates our beliefs about ourselves and our lives. And with those beliefs, we make choices that shape our entire lives, from our work to our relationships to our health to our happiness.

So every time we prove our story true is actually us working a miracle, an surprising but welcomed outcome. By repeating those messages in our head, we’re putting off the energy into this world that tells life “I keep repeating this to myself, I’m holding on very tightly to it”, and all the universe hears is how much you love that story and want to keep it near. Life keeps handing you opportunities to make that story true, and you work like a detective to keep finding evidence of why your story is true. You simultaneously attract and seek out evidence for your own story. Sometimes it’s actions to keep avoiding your story (being shy and not attracting attention because you think you’re not attractive), sometimes it means enforcing your story (seeking the approval of authority figures because you think you’re not smart enough).

That also means that positive and happy miracles occur with the help of your energy as well. For example: you finally decide you’re too old and too tired to date guys that break your heart; you change your mind and story from ‘a lonely girl who needs that jerk to love me back’, to ‘a girl who wants a stable partner or nothing at all’. Lo and behold, a few years down the road, in he walks. Or your realize life is too short to stay in a job you hate, your story changes from ‘enslaved to your job’ to ‘on your way out’. Your energy goes out into the world, you pull a few strings, opportunities arise, and a new job comes your way.

It’s not that we can’t use some science, some cause-and-effect measure to argue that every day circumstances aren’t miracles. We can study the car’s seat-belts to see how a person survived a crash; but we can also see that all the elements aligned, miraculously, to help him survive. As Einstein says, it’s all miraculous, every force and facet. The mindset you use to create your reality absolutely, constantly works miracles to bring you what you want. In turn, this universe is so giving and loving, it gives just the reality you asked for with your beliefs. Life loves you that much.

Here is Einstein’s quote again, with more to help you see how even someone so invested in science could see the circumstances of his life as miraculous:

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

But without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people; first of all for those upon whose smiles and well-being our own happiness is wholly dependent, and then for the many, unknown to us, to whose destinies we are bound by the ties of sympathy.

A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving.”

– Albert Einstein (source)

How have we created the miracles of our lives?

So how do we create miracles in our lives? By welcoming them. By creating a mindset in which the miracles you wish to occur are invited. By creating the story in which what you want is possible, has potential. By believing in yourself, in your goals, in your own power. Also, by allowing life to surprise you with it’s support of your beliefs and stories in unexpected place. By trusting life to present you with what you want most: the story of a victim or the story of a champion. By remaining in wonder of how life will unfold around you.

If you choose not to do this, you’ll still create miracles. If you decide to believe in all the reasons you can’t, or all the stories about how you’re not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, you’ll continue to seek out opportunities that prove it. Either way, this loving and wonderful universe will give you whatever you dwell on most. Second, that you open your eyes to every moment this giving universe is giving you evidence of the story you’re either trying to avoid or trying to create. Great guy shows up for your blind date? Miracle. New *comfortable* heels in your size – on sale? Miracle. Another reason to hate your boss like so you can mentally check out at work? Miracle!

If you want to break free of the story of your past of why you are not enough, you must only go back and analyze the decisions that created the story. Looking back on your life, what decisions have you made about yourself, or about the world, that created your beliefs and your reality? What belief is holding you back from what you want; and at what moment in your past did you make the decision that created this belief? This is a painful, awkward process because it often means going back and looking at what you decided about your failures, and what decisions you made in your most embarrassing moments. (Mine involved an instance when my crush threw rocks at me, and a mortifying encounter with a karaoke machine). It’s not exactly fun to do, but it’s how to deconstruct your reality so you can make a new one. It’s the only way to widen the lens of the tunnel-vision you currently use about yourself.

The first step is to go back and take inventory of the decisions you’ve made that have shaped your reality. The second is to unblock yourself by releasing the beliefs that shaped your current reality. The third is to make new decisions not based on the past, but based on the future of what you want to happen, what you are striving for.

Now your belief system goes from reliving the past to creating the future. Your decisions go from “because of” to “so that”. And the universe can respond to your new energy with the opportunities you’re asking for, seeking for, and calling out.

You truly are a being of incredible power miraculous intention. You can break free from that loser boyfriend by changing the belief you don’t need him anymore. You can get out of that dead-end job by changing the beliefs that you are chained by the money or aren’t able to do better. You can break free of your own insecurities by realizing you made a terrible decision about your body in the past, a limiting decision, and see the unique beauty and individuality only you have.

YOU are a Miracle

You are capable of creating every miracle in your own life you see fit. You have the ability to be grateful for every miracle – even the challenges – you’ve been able to create in your own life so far. And in those challenges, you can be grateful that they are now indicators of how you can grow bigger, better, and more capable. Best of all, now you can create the belief system to make better decisions that build the future you want, and use this incredible, kind, generous universe to help you achieve every miracle you dream of.

You are a true miracle, just like me. And I’m so proud of you.

Touted across the globe as one of the most influential and important daily tools for healthy living, the benefits of meditation include reduced stress, increased concentration and happiness, and more (read them all in this Third Metric article). It’s also noted by some of today’s most successful business moguls as an essential and life-altering practice to achieving success. I also find that meditation taps me into the awareness to make better choices in my diet, and be a kinder, more compassionate person to my friends and family.

In previous years teaching yoga, I often had a hard time subscribing new students to this age-old practice. Through working with these first-time yogis and meditators of all ages, I came to notice the obstacles novice students seemed stalled by, as well as the simplest meditation tips for beginners of all types.

Try these meditation tips to learning the basics, or improving your practice:

• Use a guide if you need to while you learn the basics (or even later in your practice!)

Not everyday will be easy to slip right into your ego-free mode. If you find a podcast or guide or tape or even a specific teacher and class that helps you reach your deep, inner peace, use it! Don’t be afraid to use training wheels while you explore your practice. Soon you’ll be able to use these guides without the guides being present; as if they showed you what path to follow inward, and eventually you memorize the way in.

For practiced yogis, guides can also help you push through blocks in your meditation, or reach new depths. Sometimes a new doorway, like a new podcast or meditation song, can help you find new elements of your practice (and heart, mind and soul) your go-to routine misses.

• Find the time that’s best for you

Some meditate best first thing in the morning, as done in many ashrams around India. Some meditate better at the end of a workday, when they can compartmentalize the work day, and take a breather before heading home to be with family. Find the time that’s best for you, when you are able to commit to being clear headed. It might be different on different days!

• Be comfortable

Not everyone can sit in lotus or cross-legged; there is nothing wrong with that. As a teacher, I never sat in lotus because I found the stretch too deep to focus inward. A pillow under your tailbone can also help prop up the spine and make sitting for long periods more comfortable. Or sit upright in a chair if you need to. Palms one on top of the other facing up invite the universe to bring you new things. Palms face down on the knees will help you focus more inward toward stillness.

• When thoughts come in, gently push them aside

The key word here is gently. This also goes with not judging the experience. The ego works tirelessly to keep you from being present, because it cannot exist while you are in the now! When the ego brings worries or thoughts or questions and plans into your brain, very lovingly and gently push them aside. Don’t feel guilty for losing focus; meditation is all about the love. So use your love to push them aside, tell them you’ll deal with them later if you need to, and get back to center.

• Use a Mantra

To start, I always suggest using one word: “Peace” “Love” “Calm”, etc. It can be a sanskrit term. It can be the sound of waves. Whatever inspires you. The repetition is like a metronome that allows the music of meditation to sing louder through you.

• Enjoy it!

This is the only time in your day when you don’t have to think, you don’t have to plan or be productive. You can just go into the heart, take a rest, and feel the warmth of your own existence. Even if it’s not your best meditation, sitting in silence is a beautiful thing, and will impact your daily life in ways you can’t yet see.

• Get the right accessories

There are two trains of thought on this kind of advice. The first is that meditation, yoga and spiritual devotion require certain forms of deprivation. That means giving up luxuries in exchange for enlightenment. On the other side, highly recognized in Osho philosophies, luxuries are seen as a gateway to nirvana. (His ashram in India, with it’s Olympic pools and marble pathways, is proof). Either way, for the modern yogi and woman, I say a little luxe in your practice will only make it more fun!

We women love our accessories, and your meditation practice is a great place to add a few special items to make it even more of a rewarding experience. Find a colorful, comfortable pillow that you only use to sit on during meditation. Invest in a super-soft shawl to wrap around your arms while you sit. My personal favorite is a lavender candle to burn while I meditate and practice yoga. The scent is so soothing, and the flame reminds me to stay true to my inner light, read more about letting your light shine in this article.

• Round it out

At the end of the practice, I always encourage students to ‘hug the world’. In other words, come back into reality and out of the meditation with a little, silent inner hug for everyone, everything, and every place around the globe. It’s a great way to remember that even people all the way on the other side of the globe are living only in this moment, just like we are, and to come back into our day with a feeling of peace and compassion for all life. Plus it will leave you smiling…

Here are a few mistakes many learners make:

• Judging the Experience
  It’s not about whether it was a ‘good meditation’ or a ‘bad meditation’ or whether you are good or bad at it. Any moment of even attempting to give your mind and heart a moment of silence is a beautiful gift. Commit to not listening, holding on to, or believing what your ego says as you learn to practice. Meditation isn’t just ‘not thinking for a while’. It’s a practice of gratitude. It’s a practice of patience and stillness. It’s a practice of connecting with everything that exists, that vibration of life and energy that runs through every living thing. There is no good or bad, there is only love! Feel, enjoy and give the love!
• Worrying whether your ‘doing it right’
  Don’t worry if other people are looking at you. They aren’t. Their eyes are closed too, and you look much sillier for being the one person in the room with eyes open than for having your eyes closed and someone else seeing you.
  Don’t worry about how long you do it. Extended time comes with practice.
  Don’t worry about how ‘deep you go’, it also comes with practice.
  Every meditation might feel a bit different if your paying attention. Let them each be new, fresh experiences of the Now moment, and enjoy them!
• Fearing the Learning Process
  Often times, people who have never meditated before are deeply interested in the practice but are too scared to ask questions for fear of looking foolish. There are no stupid questions when it comes to meditation because it’s different for everyone. As with any skill, it takes learning the basics before you can go pro. Honor the process of learning, don’t be afraid of it, and embrace the newness of all the surprises ahead of you!
  It’s okay to be a novice. The sooner you start to learn and practice, the sooner you can reap the benefits and share it with others.

Like any rewarding action and practice, meditation does take discipline. But discipline should be an act of joy and loving devotion, not punishment. Remember that you are meditation to give your mind and heart the best chance to experience life fully, and enjoy the beauty of solitude!

Now after all these tricks, let’s meditate!

Sit comfortably on the floor, on a pillow, or on a chair in a quiet room. Begin by deepening the breath. Allow fresh air to enter through the nose, reaching the bottom of the lungs, and expel the air out of your mouth, allowing it to take with it any stresses, worries, or tension. Repeat this for at least 10 breaths.

Now focus inward. Gently push any ideas or thoughts that pop up out of the way. Notice the stillness inside you, resonating from your soul, even as your body pumps blood and oxygen through you. Without trying to grab it or hold on to this stillness, simply rest in it. Surrender to the stillness; allow it to wrap around you and through you like warm water in a bathtub. Release to it.

Enjoy as long as you wish. Repeat often.

Sitting listlessly at my computer, wondering why my mind feels wrapped in barbwire, as if every possible direction of action seems painfully wrong. I’m not sure what to create, who to reach out to, what step to take next; it’s an awkward but frequent mental state of this time in the morning, when breakfast’s coffee has warn off, and my body craves movement to get the juices – figurative and literal – flowing again.

So I get up, take a seat across the room, close my eyes, and sink in for a short meditation. My mind becomes clear, my consciousness sinks its way down, settling in the ground floor of my being, and I feel ok again. Then my affirmation comes in “I will serve others today”. With that, I remember why it is I should be doing anything today: writing, creating, speaking, podcasting…to serve and help others.

Thus, my goals and my actions follow suit with my affirmation, and my affirmation serves my goal. The energy of the two flow both ways, symbiotically. This is why I created my meditation class online: to help other people use the incredibly powerful practice of meditation not only to reconnect with the very essence of their purpose, but to learn that affirmations can work wonders when it comes to making your goals happen in a meaningful and rewarding way. To put it in even simpler terms, here is how meditation (especially with affirmations like I teach here), helps manifest goals:

How Meditation Helps Manifest Your Goals

Energetically

I harp often on the way that our beliefs create our reality. If we don’t believe we’re capable of something, we will act accordingly by either not putting ourselves out there or not even trying. Similarly, meditating with an affirmation helps re-program our brains for more productive, positive beliefs about our capabilities.Also because if YOU are uncertain about your purpose or worth, other people sense that. Conversely the more secure you are with your ability and worthiness, the more other people are likely to reach out and offer you just what you’ll need to succeed.

When you meditate with, and truly engrain yourself with the mantra like “I am worthy“, you energetically change yourself to be more open to opportunity, and the bravery needed to take the next step in your life. That way, when a door opens or a hand is extended from the direction you want to go, rather than saying ‘oh I’m too scared and not good enough for that…’ you’ll have the conviction to say ‘Yes, absolutely. I’ve been waiting for this because I AM WORTHY.’

With Visualization

A huge part of manifesting anything is visualization; the problem people make with visualization is that they either don’t stick to the practice diligently enough (with visualization, you have to really practice it daily, even multiple times a day till it’s the reality you see more so than the problems around you), or they don’t believe what they’re visualizing. You can have a dream, but if you don’t actually believe the dream could happen, you’ll have trouble being able to manifest your goals. Meditating with an affirmation that helps visualize your dream helps create a sustainable practice of both visualizing and manifesting with meditation.

Through Connection and Centeredness

I wholeheartedly believe that life only hands you the opportunities you’re asking for when you’re ready. How do you prepare? By connecting with the deepest part of yourself, and finding your center. Your center is the place you’ll have to act from when those huge new responsibilities you want finally come your way. Your center is the place that will guide you through that big obstacle or challenge. Your connection to your center will be your beacon; it will light the way and help you make decisions from a view of the bigger picture. If you seriously want to manifest your goals, you’ll need to prove you’re the kind of person that can handle it, because every goal comes with it’s own set of obstacles.

By Creating Personal Peace and Self Acceptance

As I talked about on the HerAfter Podcast last week, your dream is individual to you. It’s been created using your experience, your beliefs, and your talents, and thus it is a dream made for you that only you can accomplish. Meditation helps improve a sense of personal peace and self acceptance, and these are the tools you’ll use to get your dream and your vision off the ground. After all, you have to not only believe in the dream, but in yourself. Personal peace and self acceptance will give you the courage to be your own cheerleader and keeping pushing yourself to strive for more.

Ready to take the next step?

Join my online meditation class!

10 minutes per day, with lessons sent RIGHT to your email
so you can study right from your phone or laptop.

Mantras for happiness are an easy way to practice gratitude, joy, and your power to choose your mood. Mantras for happiness can also be created based on your needs and goals, so get creative! Try your own with words that inspire you! This series of mantras for happiness can also be seen on Huffington Post, Yahoo and YourTango.

This is a sneak peak of our 11-day series. If you want to try the full series, check out our e-course here.

Mantra for Happiness Day 1:

I have everything I need.

I have the power to love, to heal, and to grow. I need nothing else. I am not driven by worldly possessions or the affections of others. I exist to give rather than to take. My love is infinite, so I give it out freely without need for reimbursement. The less that I own, the freer I am.

Photo

Svartifoss (modified) by Andrés Nieto Porras (source)(license)

cover: Planting Roots by Laura Nelson (source) (license)

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Mantra for Happiness Day 2:

I choose to be happy.

I do not wait for happiness to find me. I cultivate happiness and love and express it outwardly, even in the face of fear. I have the power within me to let my happiness and joy shine outward, unblocked by uncertainty.

You can learn more about how to choose happiness in even your darkest times in this article.

photo: 165 by Mitya Ku (modified) | (source)(license)

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Mantra for Happiness Day 3:

I am a voice for peace.

In all my actions and words, I speak for peace. I am an ambassador of peace and acceptance and compassion to myself and toward others. In everything I do, I take responsibility for my duty to create peace on this earth, and to share it and teach it to others. I practice peace deep within myself.

photo: Lips by DominO (modified) | (source) (license)

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Mantra for Happiness Day 4:

I am in control of my actions and emotions.

Though I cannot control what happens to me, I can control my reactions. I am in control of how I treat and speak to others, and whether I take their comments and opinions personally. I am in control of what I share and give outwardly, and I choose to share love even during conflicts.

photo: Sky mirror | play (modified) by hobvias sudoneighm (source) (license)

Want more mantras?

Take our Mantras for Happiness 11 Day E-Course!

Last year, we released an 11-day Mantra Challenge, a series of mantras for happiness that helped readers build a life of contentment and personal peace over the course of 11 days. Now, it’s a powerful online class you can take right from you iPhone in less than 10 minutes per day.

Find YOUR personal power with the help of this incredible e-course! Designed to help you realize where you’ve been blocking yourself from your highest potential and happiness, this cheap and enlightening course will boost self-esteem and awaken you to a better future!

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These positive affirmation mantras help:

*Build self esteem*

*Boost creativity*

*Feel happier and more content*

*Create Personal Peace*

*Help you access your purpose and potential*

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Available for a limited time, you can learn on the life-changing practice of positive affirmation mantras, and challenge yourself to be your BEST. Over the course of 11 Days, learn a total of 11 powerful mantras of positive affirmation that will help you become brighter, happier, and more aware.

This ultra affordable course is perfect for anyone new to affirmations or meditation. The audio companion allows you to meditate with each mantra easily and immediately, so you can get the most benefit from each one.
At the end of the 11 day challenge, you’ll have a whole new understand of positive affirmations and how to make them work for you, plus a new meditation practice to keep up on your own!

This course is right for you if you:

-Want to overcome fears and pain of the past

-Want a FAST, affordable tool that will help you be happier

-Are ready to awaken to a better experience of your life

-Are short on time – lessons take less than 10 minutes each day!

-Have been curious about natural ways to improve your mood

Space in this class is limited, so be sure to enroll while it’s available, and get started on your new mantra practice today!

PLUS: Get a FREE Copy of the Mantras for Happiness E-book to keep and use when your course is finished!

This full course comes complete with:

• A new uplifting Positive Affirmation for each day
• A daily image card to add to your Pinterest boards or iphone to help you carry the mantra intention throughout your day
• Informative reading to help you understand each mantra and how it will help you improve your life
• Guided meditation podcast for each mantra
• Insight Question practices to compliment each affirmation, that will help you realize areas you’ve been acting from fear or limiting yourself
• Added lessons for those new to meditation, and helpful tips along the way!

Whether you’re looking for mantras to chant, mantras for peace, or our simple mission: mantras for happiness, these mantras work for every lifestyle and every personality.

The mantras for happiness are designed to help you see the power and potential you have to change your perspective and improve your well being. The series has been featured around the web on sites like Yahoo!, Huffington Post, YourTango, and more, and remains our most popular article to date. In an effort to help even more people – like you! – access their potential and tap into their power to live a meaningful, happy life, we’re also offering the mantras for happiness ebook on Barnes and Noble, ebook for Kindle, laptop or e-reader on Amazon, or on Smashwords. Once you’ve completed the series, take the next step to creating a happier, more beautiful life with our new Lifestyle Guide!

FAQ’s

When do classes start?

Whenever you sign up! Each student starts at their own time. After enrolling, you’ll be sent the first introductions to the class. Then, the following day, you’ll get your FIRST affirmation lesson. You’ll get one new lesson each day after that for 11 days!

What time do I take each lesson?

Whenever works for you. One new lesson will be available to you each day over the course of 11 days. You’ll be notified via email every day that a new affirmation lesson is available. You can check out that day’s lesson whenever is convenient for you.

What if I miss a day?

No problem! That lesson will be available to you anytime you like. So you can take two the next day, skip a day, or take a handful of mantra lessons on your weekend. Once each lesson is made available to you, you can study them, try them out, and go back to them whenever you want!

I’m a busy person without a lot of extra time. Can I still take the course?

It’s actually designed with you in mind. Each lesson takes less than 10 minutes (more if you want it to!). You’ll be notified via email of the day’s lesson, then you can just click over to it, check out the day’s affirmation, meditate along with the guided meditation audio companion, and be on your way.

What do I need to sign up?

An open mind, and a computer or smart phone. You can log in and take each day’s lesson whenever is convenient in your day. Some people find that the guided meditation audio companions are great to listen to while on their commute, in the car, or even exercising or right before bed!

What if I need help?

*Proceeds of this e-course go toward funding HerAfter.com, a website full of great self-improvement and inspirational articles to help women live happier, more fulfilling lives! Purchasing this course helps to further the mission of HerAfter to reach more readers and change more lives for the better!

We’re so fortunate to be able to share these life-changing affirmations and help you create a meditation practice of your own. Meditation helps reduce stress, increases happiness and focus, and can help you be a more productive, engaged person in your work, home, and relationships. Even if you’ve never meditated before, this simple class will help you learn how to meditate, and how to change your entire life with the power of positive affirmations. You deserve to start a practice that will improve every area of your life!

About the Creator:

Rachael Yahne is a writer, cancer survivor, and former yoga teacher (200-hr Training Certified). Her work has been featured on Huffington Post, Yahoo!, SheKnows, and more.

If you’re looking for mantras for beauty that will instantly and suddenly transform your looks into that of a celebrity, this is NOT the right place. However, if you’re looking to use positive affirmations as a way to unlock mantras for beauty that showcase your individuality, read on! These mantras for beauty aren’t intended to make you look like anyone else, other than your best self. They are mantras for beauty designed to help you see the gorgeous, incredible, powerful inner Goddess in you that’s waiting to be released! How do I know these mantras for beauty will do just that? Here’s why:

When chemo starts, it’s not as if every hair on your head falls out simultaneously. The reality is much more gruesome, much closer to exactly the opposite. I used to wake up in the morning to a pillow covered in my own hair, a Hitchcock-worthy sight, and a scalp that became gradually more sparse. Shaving it short wasn’t quite enough to halt the effect; it just meant shorter, itchier hairs on the insides of hats and pillows. Eventually it did fall out entirely, taking with it my eyebrows (which I would later comically forget to paint on for my own prom, leaving a span of years in which I wondered ‘something is off…what’smissing?’). That, combined with the chubby steroidal cheeks and pink glow of my skin, I was only a shadow of my former self.

But after winter comes spring, and my body blossomed slowly over the years to be womanly again. I lost the weight and my hair came back and I am happy to say now that the process of losing -or in the case of makeup, sacrificing- these elements, I had the opportunity to greet beauty anew, much like a young lady does. This time, at an age when I could understand the wonder of it, the artistry of it, and enjoy the process rather than use it to cover guilt and blemishes.

The exploration of femininity from an aesthetic standpoint was a journey aftermy journey that I still treasure and discover continually.

In honor of all that, and the beautiful spring upon us now, we’re diving into a Beauty Mantra series, much like the loved Meditation Mantra series from a few weeks back. This time, however, we’re taking the mantras to the mirror, and turning our beauty routines into a place of inspiration, self-love, acceptance, and celebration. (You can read more about turning makeup routines into zen routines here)

Each day will be a new element of outer beauty to connect with our deepest inner beauty and light. From the spring lip hues to our perfectly pedicured toes, we’ll share beauty as a gateway to our own divinity. After all, if artists of the Renaissance could see the heavens through their worldly muses-their lovers, why can’t we see the goddess that resides right here within us?

Day 5: Hair

Having hair is a tricky thing; you want to care about it enough to nurture it and take care of it and even style it, but you don’t want to be so attached to it emotionally that it defines you, and you become to scared to even cut it. That’s a conundrum cancer patients know well; when it finally grows back, will I be so bonded to it that I can never cut it off again?

The truth is, hair should be fun. It should be free from pressure. It should be more art than personal worth. It should be more carefree than careful. Love your hair, honor it, let it have a personality, but never be defined by it.

At Home Hair Masks:

I personally mix my favorite conditioner or deep conditioner with olive oil and leave it overnight, but you can get fancier!

I also love this 3-ingredient recipe from Me On The Go that works as a hot oil hair mask, and this coconut oil and honey hair mask from SugarSocial that can easily be made from Trader Joe products.

photo: 21/365 if you think that a kiss is all in the lips by Jane Rahman | modified (source) (license)

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Day 4: Nails

Why shouldn’t we honor that which we use most? The hands that can touch those we love, that can serve them and serve those in need? The feet that let us walk the globe, that let us run to keep our heart healthy, that let us dance to our own beat?

In honor of them (and because it’s #TBT!) we revert back to an article on the bliss found in an evening at home in solitude, when a warm sea salt bath and a self-painted pedicure can help you connect to your deepest, truest form of beauty and individuality.

See more on this topic here.

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Day 3: Skin

I cherish my skin and body because they allow me to feel this life. The unique shape and texture was handed down by generations of warrior women before me. I protect it body from the sun, I feed it from the inside out by drinking water, by eating clean, by soaking it when it is tired and needs my love, by allowing it to be caressed by someone who deserves it’s suppleness– someone that is kind and worthy of all the incredible things I do in this world. I am kind to my skin. I am thankful that it heals when the world cuts through it. I am proud of it’s every scar, and I treasure it with my thoughts and actions.

As an obvious rule, I’m not much into sun tanning. But that doesn’t mean I’m not into a good, golden tan. I just fake it at home with a few drugstore products.

The Top 3 Tips for Perfect At-Home Tan:

1. Always go for two layers. Start first with the darkest color you want; I suggest a foam to create the first coat, as they dry quickly and offer great color.St. Tropez is my favorite, well worth the price.The second layer should be a gradual tan product. If your first layer was a foam, apply a daily gradual tanner lotion about ten minutes after applying the foam. If your first layer was a lotion or gel, apply a gradual tanning foam on top. The second layer isn’t for darkening, though it will add color. It’s for evening out the first layer and fixing any clumps and stain spots.
2. Get a spray tanner from the drugstore and spray the backs of your hands and the tops of your feet. It’s the first place you’ll spot a fake tan if they’re too pale. The sprays dry quickly and keep you from having to do a limbo-style hand-washing after applying tanner to the backs of your hands.
3. Don’t put fake tanner on your face. Just use a bronzer. Fake tanner on the face looks fake.

My favorite products:

St. Tropez Self Tan Bronzing Mousse – don’t forget to use gloves!

L’Oreal Paris Sublime Bronze Tanning Wipes – this makes a quick first layer and is packable for vacation, so you can refresh your color if you need. Be sure to top with a lotion layer still!

Jergen’s Natural Glow Revitalizing Daily Moisturizer – perfect for the top layer, and can be used every day after to keep the tan nice and dark. Plus it actually smells nice!

Also, be sure to drink lots of water, cook with olive oil, and eat avocados, nuts, and salmon! All great, hydrating sources of nutrients for your skin, and will give you an actual glow.

photo: Dan Steely – Sexy Nude Beach Girl (modified) (source) (license)

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Day 2: Eyes

With our eyes we see the world, but rarely do we give to the power behind them. That’s not just the power of seduction, the power of a glance or a glare, the power of a wink, or all that we can say in just one look…

What about the power our feelings have over the way we physically see the world? What if we took control of our mind, and so was able to see more beauty in the world? What if we stopped the negative messages about ourselves in our mind so that our eyes could see more beauty in the mirror?

If our eyes have the power to make us fall in love at first glance…then let us fall in love with ourselves and life around us again.

On Trend:

Cat Eyeliner is back (like it ever left though….) and for a refresher with some expert advice, look no further than the hilarious, gorgeous, actually-makes-you-think-you-can-do-it Nikkie Tutorials. PS: even when you don’t feel like going out, watching her videos in bed with a glass of wine is everything.
See it here.

photo: Ashley HarriganF Cat Eyes – myself (modified) (source) (license)

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Day 1: Lips

photo by: LA RUBIA GELIDA by Emilio García |
PHOTO ORIGINAL: ROSARIO GALACHO (source) (license)

Lips are powerful things, being the shield to our sharpest sword. We can share love, we can share hate. We can kiss, we can spit. We can share our truth, or we can conceal who we really are, all with the power of our words and our lips. What you do with yours, how you take care of them, and how you present these powerful muscles is up to you. Don’t forget… a just-bitten lip has always been one of the most seductive looks for a reason…

On Trend:

Harper’s Bazaar is touting bright berry tones and intense reds as on trend this season.

See the full report here.

If you’ve ever switched on the OWN channel or found yourself on Pinterest looking up motivational quotes, you might have seen one Iyanla Vanzant. Born into a family fighting poverty, and raised in harrowing circumstances the likes of which would make your spine curl, her life is a tale of belief, conviction, and courage. She didn’t let circumstance stop her. In fact, Iyanla isn’t even her birth name. She transformed her life into a hero’s journey, transcending the circumstances that caged her by learning from them, overcoming them, and using them to help others overcome their own hardships.

Vivacious, fearless, and inhumanly genuine, Iyanla speaks with a tenacity and enthusiasm that is unrivaled (you can see her in her SuperSoulSunday session ‘You Matter’ here). In a poetic twist, we can learn not only from her empowering messages, but in the very way she conducts herself: as the version of her heart that is strong and mighty. She proves the existence of heroic strength in all of us, if only we would be brave enough to realize it:

There is a force within you that is ruthless, fearless, and powerful. And you have every right to tap into that force and use it to your own advantage.

For Iyanla, that meant going as far as becoming someone new; not new to her, but new to others. For me, that means just switching characters for a while to a me that isn’t so timid. I’m not typically an outgoing person, though some might argue given that I speak publicly and even speak on a podcast for this website. But when I do need courage, I switch into a version of myself capable of handling the stress. It’s not the every-day persona that is humble enough to do the dishes or relishes in time spent alone. This version of myself has an important, remarkable duty to be the advocate for me and my potential that I can’t typically be. To tap into her, I dig inside past the insecurities doing their damn-dest to stop me, I find her ferocious energy, and I place her strength upon myself like a facade. Only this is no facade, it’s simply an understand that my bravery needs to come out. Her presence is requested.

That force, I’ll call it my ‘alter ego’ for the sake of brevity, she’s the one who beat cancer over ten years ago. She’s asked for raises for me. She’s gone on interviews. She even gives my speeches. And you have one too. She’s the get-shit-done part of you. She’s the one who stands up for you, who has the guts to leave the terrible boyfriend. You might remember a time when she stepped in for you and afterward you looked back and thought “how did I even have the strength to do that?”. She’s the answer. And here’s why it’s of vital importance that you honor her, and allow her a place in your life:

She’s brave

She’s confident. She can say things that you might not normally have the guts to say. She understands the value of words, and that fewer words can often say more, and with more power. She’s got guts, fervor, and ambition. And you don’t have to go through the emotionally draining act of trying to be her all the time, because she gets strength in rest. So you can use her when you need her and not have to feel like you’re over extending yourself the rest of the time.

She doesn’t waste time

Because you don’t use this part of your character very often, you know it has a limited life-span. This alter ego knows that time is precious, she’s got a short window to use all her guts and glory to get whatever you need done, done. She gets right to the point and doesn’t mess around.

She’s willing to fights for you

It might be the hardest thing women do: to fight for themselves. To advocate for what they want and need. To speak up when something is harming them. To say what it is they want or believe in. She can do it for you. Just ask her. Here are some encouraging messages she’ll tell you next time you’re stressed.

In return, do whatever it is that your alter ego needs you to do. If she tells you that you’re playing too small in your own life, listen. If she tells you that in order to do her job she needs three cups of coffee and red lipstick, for God’s sake give it to her. If she tells you something doesn’t feel right or that her intuition is telling you to run for it, heed the advice. Honor her as a part of yourself that is sacred and precious and mighty. Respect her. Feed her. Inspire her by surrounding yourself with strong, like-minded women so she has an example to work from. And remember, above all else, she is a part of you. You are here, in your own way, because you are strong, worthy and capable. You just need to realize and use whatever methods and means necessary to get what it is you need and deserve.

Touted across the globe as one of the most influential and important daily tools for healthy living, the benefits of meditation include reduced stress, increased concentration and happiness, and more (read them all in this Third Metric article). It’s also noted by some of today’s most successful business moguls as an essential and life-altering practice to achieving success. I also find that meditation taps me into the awareness to make better choices in my diet, and be a kinder, more compassionate person to my friends and family.

In previous years teaching yoga, I often had a hard time subscribing new students to this age-old practice. Through working with these first-time yogis and meditators of all ages, I came to notice the obstacles novice students seemed stalled by:

Here are a few mistakes many learners make:

Judging the Experience

It’s not about whether it was a ‘good meditation’ or a ‘bad meditation’ or whether you are good or bad at it. Any moment of even attempting to give your mind and heart a moment of silence is a beautiful gift. Commit to not listening, holding on to, or believing what your ego says as you learn to practice. Meditation isn’t just ‘not thinking for a while’. It’s a practice of gratitude. It’s a practice of patience and stillness. It’s a practice of connecting with everything that exists, that vibration of life and energy that runs through every living thing. There is no good or bad, there is only love! Feel, enjoy and give the love!

Worrying whether your ‘doing it right’

Don’t worry if other people are looking at you. They aren’t. Their eyes are closed too, and you look much sillier for being the one person in the room with eyes open than for having your eyes closed and someone else seeing you.
Don’t worry about how long you do it. Extended time comes with practice.
Don’t worry about how ‘deep you go’, it also comes with practice.
Every meditation might feel a bit different if your paying attention. Let them each be new, fresh experiences of the Now moment, and enjoy them!

Fearing the Learning Process

Often times, people who have never meditated before are deeply interested in the practice but are too scared to ask questions for fear of looking foolish. There are no stupid questions when it comes to meditation because it’s different for everyone. As with any skill, it takes learning the basics before you can go pro. Honor the process of learning, don’t be afraid of it, and embrace the newness of all the surprises ahead of you!
It’s okay to be a novice. The sooner you start to learn and practice, the sooner you can reap the benefits and share it with others.

Try these tips to learning the basics, or improving your practice:

• Use a guide if you need to while you learn the basics (or even later in your practice!)

Not everyday will be easy to slip right into your ego-free mode. If you find a podcast or guide or tape or even a specific teacher and class that helps you reach your deep, inner peace, use it! Don’t be afraid to use training wheels while you explore your practice. Soon you’ll be able to use these guides without the guides being present; as if they showed you what path to follow inward, and eventually you memorize the way in.

For practiced yogis, guides can also help you push through blocks in your meditation, or reach new depths. Sometimes a new doorway, like a new podcast or meditation song, can help you find new elements of your practice (and heart, mind and soul) your go-to routine misses.

• Find the time that’s best for you

Some meditate best first thing in the morning, as done in many ashrams around India. Some meditate better at the end of a workday, when they can compartmentalize the work day, and take a breather before heading home to be with family. Find the time that’s best for you, when you are able to commit to being clear headed. It might be different on different days!

• Be comfortable

Not everyone can sit in lotus or cross-legged; there is nothing wrong with that. As a teacher, I never sat in lotus because I found the stretch too deep to focus inward. A pillow under your tailbone can also help prop up the spine and make sitting for long periods more comfortable. Or sit upright in a chair if you need to. Palms one on top of the other facing up invite the universe to bring you new things. Palms face down on the knees will help you focus more inward toward stillness.

• When thoughts come in, gently push them aside

The key word here is gently. This also goes with not judging the experience. The ego works tirelessly to keep you from being present, because it cannot exist while you are in the now! When the ego brings worries or thoughts or questions and plans into your brain, very lovingly and gently push them aside. Don’t feel guilty for losing focus; meditation is all about the love. So use your love to push them aside, tell them you’ll deal with them later if you need to, and get back to center.

• Use a Mantra

To start, I always suggest using one word: “Peace” “Love” “Calm”, etc. It can be a sanskrit term. It can be the sound of waves. Whatever inspires you. The repetition is like a metronome that allows the music of meditation to sing louder through you.

• Enjoy it!

This is the only time in your day when you don’t have to think, you don’t have to plan or be productive. You can just go into the heart, take a rest, and feel the warmth of your own existence. Even if it’s not your best meditation, sitting in silence is a beautiful thing, and will impact your daily life in ways you can’t yet see.

• Get the right accessories

There are two trains of thought on this kind of advice. The first is that meditation, yoga and spiritual devotion require certain forms of deprivation. That means giving up luxuries in exchange for enlightenment. On the other side, highly recognized in Osho philosophies, luxuries are seen as a gateway to nirvana. (His ashram in India, with it’s Olympic pools and marble pathways, is proof). Either way, for the modern yogi and woman, I say a little luxe in your practice will only make it more fun!

We women love our accessories, and your meditation practice is a great place to add a few special items to make it even more of a rewarding experience. Find a colorful, comfortable pillow that you only use to sit on during meditation. Invest in a super-soft shawl to wrap around your arms while you sit. My personal favorite is a lavender candle to burn while I meditate and practice yoga. The scent is so soothing, and the flame reminds me to stay true to my inner light, read more about letting your light shine in this article.

• Round it out

At the end of the practice, I always encourage students to ‘hug the world’. In other words, come back into reality and out of the meditation with a little, silent inner hug for everyone, everything, and every place around the globe. It’s a great way to remember that even people all the way on the other side of the globe are living only in this moment, just like we are, and to come back into our day with a feeling of peace and compassion for all life. Plus it will leave you smiling…

Like any rewarding action and practice, meditation does take discipline. But discipline should be an act of joy and loving devotion, not punishment. Remember that you are meditation to give your mind and heart the best chance to experience life fully, and enjoy the beauty of solitude!

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Now after all these tricks, let’s meditate!

Sit comfortably on the floor, on a pillow, or on a chair in a quiet room. Begin by deepening the breath. Allow fresh air to enter through the nose, reaching the bottom of the lungs, and expel the air out of your mouth, allowing it to take with it any stresses, worries, or tension. Repeat this for at least 10 breaths.

Now focus inward. Gently push any ideas or thoughts that pop up out of the way. Notice the stillness inside you, resonating from your soul, even as your body pumps blood and oxygen through you. Without trying to grab it or hold on to this stillness, simply rest in it. Surrender to the stillness; allow it to wrap around you and through you like warm water in a bathtub. Release to it.

Enjoy as long as you wish. Repeat often.

For the go-to list of books every blogger should read, it all starts with creativity. I’m not exaggerating when I say these books on creativity changed my professional and personal life, which is why they make the list of books every blogger should read. Creativity is an illusive force, but one that is becoming more and more valued in our society. So it’s no wonder authors are capitalizing on the genre, pumping out books on creativity to try to keep focus on the subject. In fact, check out this statistic:
“A popular survey conducted by IBM of 1,500 CEOs from 60 countries and 33 industries identifies creativity as the “most crucial factor for future success.�?  (source)
But our understanding the value of creativity does not mean we’re coming up with appropriate resources for creativity, IE more books for creativity! As a self-appointed ambassador for creative women and a creative woman myself, I implore you to take on the finding books for creativity and your own creative habits yourself. Don’t wait for it to come and hit you up beside the head! Check out these incredible books on creativity, creative women, and what makes for a creativity-driven life.

Inspiring Books on Creativity:

CLICK ON ANY PHOTO TO SHOP

	Just Kids by Patti Smith I’ve bought and gifted this book over 7 times now. It inspired me to write again, my best friend to make art again, and my cousin to start playing live music – it’s THAT good. This incredible story of artists and lovers Patti Smith and Robert Mapplethorp will absolutely change your life.
	The Creative Habit by Twyla Tharp When it comes to books on creativity, this one takes the cake. It’s an actual how-to book on creativity, in fact. Dancer, choreographer and author Tharp offers practical tips (and even practice sheets) to help you identify your most creatively productive habits and systems. A true gem for anyone looking to improve their mental organization and creative routines.
	Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott Lamott is a seasoned writer and novelist, and in this non-fiction, hilarious book she reveals her tactics for making creativity and art less…well…intimidating. Insightful, inspirational and humorous. Not to mention extremely useful for anyone who finds themselves with writer’s block!
	Daring Greatly By Brene Brown This book is more about being strong enough to be vulnerable, and living courageously. But guess what? Those are neccessary components to being creatively free and expressed! Her research findings and motivational tone is sure to set you on fire!

Have favorite books on creativity you love? Share it in your comments below! I’m always looking for new books and would love to add your favorite books on creativity to the list!